You have made the decision. You are going to see a therapist. Maybe you are excited. Maybe you are terrified. Maybe you have a mixture of emotions. Perhaps this is something you have been putting off. Perhaps you have other people in your life pushing you to do this. Perhaps you easily came to an understanding that this is something you really want to do for yourself in your situation. You’ve picked a therapist, and your first appointment is scheduled. You are ready, at least kind of, to embark on a new journey.
Just like most things, doing something for the first time can be a very scary thing. You may have ideas of what counseling may be like from what others have told you or what you have seen depicted on movies or television. You may understand what the general purpose of counseling is in your situation (to get better), but you feel clueless as to how this happens. And the not knowing is what contributes to feeling anxious, overwhelmed, and skeptical.
When you walk into your therapist’s office for the first time, instead of being asked to lie down, you’re going to be asked to sit comfortably. Your therapist is going to want to know about why you’ve sought counseling in addition to what you want to change in your life. Your therapist will ask you background information to help them formulate how they can best help you achieve your goals, ultimately, feeling better. Your therapist will make recommendations on how they can best help you. They may recommend a certain number of sessions, maybe weekly, maybe every other week. They may also encourage you to seek family therapy or marriage counseling if you are there alone, or in contrast, individual therapy if you are there with a partner or family members. Additionally, your therapist may encourage (and sometimes require) you to seek additional support (e.g. PCP, prescriber, dietitian, a specialist, 12-step groups, etc.). Within the first few sessions, you will feel clear about how your therapist will support you through making change in your life.
In the beginning, you will experience different emotions. You may open up about things you’ve never felt safe to say, you may gain insight into areas you’ve been denying, and you may find that life feels harder. You may have a sense of both feeling better and feeling worse at the same time. You may experience the discomfort of vulnerability, but you will be taught skills and make plans on how to use healthy coping strategies to manage all of the discomfort. You will form a trusting relationship with your therapist, and hopefully, you will believe your therapist wants you to feel better and can help you attain this.
At the worst times in the counseling process you may feel challenged, overwhelmed, and reluctant to continue. At times you will cry unexpectedly, and you may find yourself opening up about topics which previously seemed to have no relation to your current problems. You may even feel angry and misunderstood as you are challenged by your therapist to re-examine your view on a perspective which is holding you back from feeling better. Unfortunately, the counseling process involves confronting all emotion.
Although acceptance of difficult emotion is part of the journey, there is much benefit you gain from the process too. As you open up, you naturally feel better. You receive validation, you gain self-awareness, and you get a personal cheerleader who knows how to motivate you to keep going. You gain confidence, and each mini-success creates excitement. Even when you make mistakes, and when things don’t seem to have a resolution, your therapist will help you find the pathway to feeling better and walk with you until you’re ready to walk it by yourself.
As you come to the end of your counseling you will have learned much about your needs. You will have gained confidence, and your life might feel stable enough for you to end counseling altogether. Possibly also, you feel ready to decrease counseling, but feel ongoing counseling is important in order to ensure stability in life. You may choose to set up ongoing counseling to support ongoing recovery, problems of anxiety, or depression on a monthly basis. Perhaps your therapist will see you have made all the progress you can in working with them and will encourage to set up therapy with someone who has a different specialty or practices from a different theoretical perspective in order to keep you continuing down your pathway. You and your therapist will decide together what kind of plan suits you best.
You can expect that you will grow through the process, and although no emotional or psychological problem can simply be fixed, you will gain confidence in managing your life. You will be stronger as a result of your hard work, you will be wiser as you will be better attuned to your needs, and you will be closer to balance as you have allowed in space for your hope to thrive. And if at anytime you find yourself stumbling down your life pathway, you will have a place you may return where you can practice skills and be supported in growth once again.
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